1. Upon The Closing of My Twenty Third
What calls beyond?
an echo
'tis no echo but the vibrating present
in which I am obliterating
in anxiety and frustration
to lead those that disbelieve
not in wonderment
but I
in quest, in search in interrogation
a query perhaps
but it is I the query to myself
not myself to the query to others
the simple question
cannot be answered quickly.....
no that is obvious
but rather I meditate, then assume an answer
only to be incongruous
why won't people believe in simplicity?
what calls beyond
an echo
'tis no echo but the vibrating now
this now presents my problem
the acknowledgment
I don't wish to acknowledge
the thought I don't wish to think,
the hurt,
the security,
the torment with pleasure
but is this but what I wish to experience
then why must I create a measure for measure?
what calls beyond?
an echo
no echo I assure you but the vibrating. penetrating
his now?
29 April 1957
2. Upon the opening of my twenty-fourth
Black is Day
White is Night
Black is not Night
White is not Day
White is day
Black is Night
Black is Day
White is night
You See there are many kinds of night
And there are many kinds of Day
So how could black or white be right
What color is twilight?
29/4/58
3. Upon the Opening of My Twenty-Sixth
I am alive on my twenty-sixth
There is an infinity
At present
And my now has become infinite
The transition has placed itself
In front of me
I am not alone
I have life...and love
It is rare
This thing we share
This omnibus
This omnipresent
This omnipotence
This is my omnilife
And my omnilove
of
This omnipresent now!
4 Upon The Closing Of My Twenty Seventh
The year to come
Cannot be divided
An to the year which
Have been
The summation of
All those emotions
Expelled and emoted
Create the complexity
The prognosis of the Next is not a summation
But a supposition
And to live in Pre-
Supposition is to live
In a fantasy that
Realizes a myth not
The fantasy of existence
And being
Youth goes by
While
We don't live
During but
For the time
To come
5.Upon The Closing Of My Twenty Eight
Life has but one request
It starts slow
until
We realize we are
Speeding by the
Time behind us
Life has but one request
Even though we
Concern ourselves
With the future
And avoid the
Present
Life has but one request
6.Upon The Closing Of My Thirty Fourth
Today I look within
myself
Not upon myself
I was there and now
I am here
I have had what I have
Thought was and now it
is
What was could be
I know who I am
But he or she does not
know me
Shall I only observe
Shall I always be enclosed
WENDEPUNKT April 29th 1968
Today I will proceed
To open not only
my eyes
my heart
Me shall open
I offer thee me
To be turned back
To be mistrusted
To be misunderstood
To be betrayed
I offer thee me
For I am ready for experience
AGAIN!
7 . Upon The Closing Of My Thirty Sixth
I have crossed many
Bridge sin the past
And I will cross many
Bridges in time to come
In the capitals of the world
Across waterways
And across highways
Railways and earth ways
The communication by
A bridge was there
There are other bridges
That we can and cannot
Cross and these are
Life experiences and
These are the most difficult
and sometimes the
Most delicate
The failure of time
The failure of space
The failure of mind
These failures prohibit
Us inhibit us yet
Protect us
They work together
And in combination
Is it any wonder
The terms of bridges
Relate to our emotions
The suspension
The catenary
The Draw
The foot
The Arch
The pontoon
The cantilever,the truss,the swing
The vertical lift and,of course
The rolling lift Bridge
29/4/1970
8. Upon the opening of my Thirty Seventh
I am as old
As a Mountain
And never the less not
I am as old as lake
And never the less not
I am as old as the trees
And nevr the less not
I am as old
And never the less not
Then i am not as old
And never the less
Then I am not
And never the less
I am........................29/4/72
9. UPON THE OPENING OF MY THIRTY NINTH
PROPE NATURAM
Away upon a hill of tall grass
On the twenty ninth of April
Nineteen Sevennty Three
I have reached a nearness
Of nature
I have reached
A contact with myself
I have brought myself
To nature
A nd nature of myself
Is acheived
The road always lead
In the other direction
From its onset
Only to be confronted
With its embryonic
Initial beginning
The spring of nature
The summer of life
The fall of knowledge
All three bring a
Nearness of the long winter
I have prepared myself
For this winter
But my autumn and summer
Are ever near
My seasons are perrenial
My deeds seek the infinate
I am near in nature
I am near to nature
I am near to
I am near
I am
I
29/4/73
10. UPON THE OPENING OF MY FORTIETH
To have what I thought I would want
Is another reality
Tp want what i thought i could have
Is another reality
What other than that
Which one could or would
To have or have not
Is but human
To see what I thought I could see
Is another reality
Tohear what i thought I could hear
Is another reality
Oh my senses play
In another reality
As my emotions play
In another reality
To have lived what I thought I would live
Is another reality
To live what i thought I could live
Is another reality
At the threshhold of my fortieth
I have witnessed
A paradigmatic* experience
29/4/74 ap
*(Paradigmatic experience Karl Mannheim,sociologist 18931947; basic experiences which carry more weight than others and which are unforgettable in comparison with others that are merely passing sensations)
11.UPON THE CLOSING OF MY FORTIETH
To close but another decade
Of my life
An important one
A consequential one
A rightful one
Perhaps the most
Outstanding one
It is time to recount
Not in numbers
But in deeds
Deeds I have accomplished
Deeds I have encountered
Deeds I have left behind
Deeds I have aquired
And above all the
Deeds that will remain
Four decades or two score
Is the count of my life
Yet I couldn't possibly
Accomplish all that I
Have in mind
Within another two score
Or more
What is there in this
Life that we retain
There is really very little
As nothing is forever
As in life
But there are things
We retain though they
Do not remain
And these things are
Real and remain
Alive with us
29/4/74
12.UPON THE CLOSING OF MY FORTY FIRST
The wake of a love
Is but the stream
Of impetuous thoughts
That follow in turbulence
Creating a pattern of
Vibrations and flows
Of happiness mixed
With sorrow mingling
Merging as one initial
Idea and to be slowly
Integrated into the subtle
Waves and current of
The waters that were
29/4/75
13 UPON THE OPENING OF MY FORTY THIRD
The picture as a child
Do you remember
The painting on the wall
Above the trunk astrew with
A tapestry woven shawl
Depicting Daniel
In the lion's den
Above was a fall view
Of the forrest
A forrest you have nevr seen
Never been
Never walked through
Its thick trunks
Its narrow trunks
Silouetted against
The amber gold meadow
Tanned oranged parched
Surfaced leaves
Why was it chosen
Why was it there
What will it mean
How often have I sinced
walked throughthis scene?
28/4/77
14.On The Closing of My Forty Fourth
To walk in the wake of one's life
is to follow one's footsteps
and imprints while making them
it is an exercise of looking
forward with a rear view mirror
you are at a point in life
all is there, yet nothing here
it is the most comprehensible incoherence
establishing one's self in a
contradiction of egotism and cynicism
the bitterness with today's
responses verses the nostalgic
sugared coated yesterday in
coproduction with an undetermined future
all is possible but our literary
intellectual debut seeks the impossible
time is gone, come and will
go into the same loneliness
with which we have been born
we have created our museums of living things
assembled and collected
from other's lives and paraphernalia
we have taken them backward
forwards but not the slightest
chance to bring them afterwards
what lays beyond has preempted
behind and the selections ahead
are incompatible to our nature now
two choices are the approach
change directions immediately
or compromise your mind
your soul,your body
the second of which you will be
recognizable and the first will
lead to incognito and only self
knowledge and real comprehension
of life.
30/4/78
15. Upon The Closing Of My Forty Sixth
On route to know where
Returning from some where
No where is to know where
We are going or coming
From somewhere
Was an addition
Of circumstances
And Coincidences
To give us
Sumwhere
Some where alone
I realize this
Being alone
In aloneness
Without loneliness
Is a sumwhere
In a knowwhere
29/4/81
16. Upon the closing of my forty eighth
Reflects
The death in a love
is the death of a love
it begins with accusations
to preform the rite of guilt
it turns the neutral
to defiance
with pride as offence
it wields disaster
and termination
a nihlation of itself
a destruction of self
to offend the partner
to part the offenders
the emotion is distraught
the will channelled
with only the need
to destroy
catastrophe arrives
paralysis exists
the death of love
the love of death
the death in love
29/4/82
17. Upon the opening of my Forty ninth
why not me
I not me : me not I
why not me : me not why
who are you : you are who
someone to you : you to someone
who I know : know I who
when we were : were we when
oh it's you : you its oh
no not me :me not no
no you know : know you no
I know me : me know I
me not why : why not me
28 4 83
Ode To Lisette
She was a friend to all
yet had few close by
She was a teacher to many
and a student to none
She was a woman to one
and all were her children
She was a council to neophytes
and a critic to professionals
She sought no praise
and saved laudatios for others
Her life was a fight
yet remained a perfectionist
She was 100% teacher
and 100% photographer
She was particular and meticulous
in task and deed
She raised criteria to
unreachable peaks
She would suggest nothing
she herself would not do
She was and will remain
all that she wanted from life
For herself and those she touched
I know I have lost my closest friend
in photography
Her departure from life
will fail me considerably
30/3/83
18. Upon the Opening of My Fiftieth
The ripened heart searches
for something responsive and
active after the long pause
of passive service and doubt
wrapped memories which
placed one in an observing
quasi audience to the proscenium
platform of life
why can one no longer freely
occupy one's own body with the
intuition and non calculated
desires that lay before under
all circumstances
cohesion permeability possession
are rejected once again like adolescent
but they are needed in midlife just
as they should have been
respected if not adhered to in pubescence
the want to love to need to exchange
and above all the need to be needed to be
loved to be wanted to share again even though
the through of the harvest
is ahead confronting me like
the budding limb, the sapped
emerging spring bloom that would
have its spring in the midst of autumn
all of this I need all of This
I want but can I have just a
small portion of some of this
to revise the process of that
ripened heart in its last stages
not to begin again but to begin anew
not to rhapsodize the past
but to renovate the present
which could affect the future
it is time to act and relinquish
the passive mature tense
be the me I am with warmth sensibility
and touches of the romantic the future is here
in the time of the present since the time has past
and only memories exist take me
teach me oh ripened heart 29/4/84
19. Upon The Closing Of My Fifty Second
The grey tones upon the white
sphere in various gradations
showing cavernous deeps and
mountainous highs bending upon
the convex surface suspended
in deep velvet blue, almost black
in the firmament of infinity
the moon
20. Upon The Closing Of My Fifty Fourth
A walk on the quai
along the chestnut trees
on a day in Autumn
the gravel and the sand
along the edge
of the granite rims
on the lake's side
only to know it was to end....
A walk on the hill
along the paths
of trees and grass
up and around
surrounded by the
high cornfields
on one side
only to know it was to end....
A walk on the lake
staring on the shadow side
with trees hundreds of
years of age
passing the viewing stands
on the Red lake
that has the color of black
only to know it was to end...
A walk around the pool
beneath the hot sun
with the small Parthenon
searing above yet below
the mountains surrounding it
the vista of the lakes with
Lucerne to the left, Rigi to the right
only to know it was to end....
A walk with each other
sharing ideas and discoveries
of our lives, strife and
the unknown
we spoke of things of personal trust
with signs of affection
only to know it was to end....
Now there is no quai
now there is no hill
now there is no pool
now there is no talk
with you
but without you
only to know it has its end....
21: Twenty One and Then Some.
M
M Madison avenue Madmen made Man-made Monoliths, Mocked by Modified moist, mixed Montage of men Making more Misalliance of Mind and matter
Magnifying with Mammoth meaning, Mink,Money and Methuselah;
Milking Myriads in mode in Monthly Magazines and managing a militant melee twixt Mogul and Moll mistress
Manipulating minority with majority.
ap 1959
22.
H
A Homo in a hetero-homo-sapaen universe holding on to a hierarchy of hardened holstered heroes belonging to hieronymous hallucinations helping heave his hurried heritage from Hermes to Hermaphrodites wanting to herald the hemisphere held by Hercules only to heighten that heinous haemorrhaging causing his hibernation and hieroglyphic history in Holland or Hollywood with his holster hip hugging hero who paid homage to that holocaust of honest honour hooked to hope and horoscope in a horrible horrid horse huck-a back, humping hundred hunting human humorous hurdles hypnotically and hysterically hemming his way to his hedonistic hedged home in heathen helmeted heat, Hear thy heart and head you haunting homo in hetero-homosapaen harmony.
23
J
A Jew in the Jungle of Jigs A Jeaned Jewess Jeopardised by Junked JigsJewelled Jew eyes Jumped, Jaunted by Jet Jazz-boesJuba Jigs Joyful, Jubilate with Judah's Junked JillJealous Jeaned Junked Jewess Jeered, Joggled Jabon,Jagged Jupon, by this Jocko Jobless Johnny Junky Jail Joiner;A Jug of Julep, Juliet Jewess, jade June and Junked Jazz Jig: Joined to James Joyce Jargon and J J Johnson's sounds.
24a
Lucerne luxury in lake and linden lingering lucid and lethargic limbs with laureland lonely latent in leadened leather larches on the lap ofthe land making a lair and labyrinth for ladybugs learning the legacy of the lustrous lion who lived legedly and lurked in th lunar lineage light legitimate legacy label of Lucerna
24b
The young Nuns on the old dunes
of the beach with wistful
windfull breeze blowing hair up,down, across the lovely features of the
adolescent devout to be
in black, billowy, bloomered, bland costume
non form, non descript, blank ankle, white sneaker
white sand, white wave, white grey, white blue,
blue white sky, empty........
25.
The Process of Time in One's Life
015 years of age = passive
1640 years of age = active/incline
40 =65 years of age = active/decline
65 = 0 years of age = passive
Cycle of crisis in years
Minor 7 25 50
MAJOR 0 15 40 65
THAT IS THE FIRST AND ODD 7 YEARS THROUGH LIFE ARE THE BEST
0.through 7 positive/
7through 14 negative/
15 through 21 ( +)/
22 through 28 ( )/
29 through 36(+)
and so on
Naturally it is only my calculations and it somehow meets other lives not only mine.
FRIENDSHIP I ALWAYS SAID YOU HAVE AS MANY FRIENDS AS FINGERS ON YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU ARE BORN
This means each finger represents a decade and each decade you pass you lose a friend. by ten you have 9 and at 50 you have five left and at 70 you have only three. This is very true in many cases.
Friendship II;
At twenty you take what you can
At thirty hard to find
At forty almost non existent
At fifty you remember when you were twenty
At sixty you read the obituaries
26
I raped a rose
I wantonly destroyed this
not knowingly
I sensed the texture
it was not sanguine
but sallow
of this bloom
I
touched the petal
the outer one
willingly
the sense was strange
not of a woman's skin
nor
anything sensual to human
but of the rose not red
but
yellow
I then raped the rose
I secured the flower
in hand
closed it with forefinger
cupped by
thumb
it didn't scream or speak
but merely resumed its serene position
this was alive but dumb
petal by petal
I tore from its person
amazingly
each started to lose life
there more than I encountered
clothed in yellow
I stopped and caressed each petal
easily, gently
not wantonly now
I am raping a rose
the pistols and stamens started to show
white yellow to bright yellow
apart it was sallow
I raped the rose
the fall is near
rose not alive
now
to return to the hive
ap 1953
FIN